You're Supposed To Be Confused (How To Solve Any Problem In Life)
March 3, 2024 | Daymion Alvarez
I've always felt a sense of confusion. Nothing around me in life made any sense, and I had no way of untangling my thoughts.
In late 2023, this came to a tipping point for me. I'd been in my 9-5 job for a little over a year and a half at this point. From the outside looking in, I was living the lavish life.
I was working in Cybersecurity making a decent wage, 100% remote, and had just moved into an apartment in downtown Chicago with 3 of my closest friends. Things seemed to be going well for me.
By all standards of society, I was killing it. But, it constantly felt like I was running around with zero sense of direction - continually distracted and unable to solve any real problems.
I was going through the biggest self-actualization phase of my entire life. I was constantly consuming podcasts and audiobooks of self-help guru's at 2x speed trying to figure out my purpose.
This only made matters worse. While it felt like I was taking huge strides by engulfing my reality in this self-help content, there was no outlet for any of it. It should have felt like I was better off, but my mind was more tangled than ever.
I didn't know how to self-educate.
I didn't have any semblance of a mentor.
I didn't know my meaning.
All I had was the endless void of motivational content online that got my hyped up for a few minutes, only to be brought back to baseline rather quickly.
I couldn't figure out exactly what my life was going to look like.
This was until I discovered an online business personality by the name of Alex Hormozi.
If you don't know who that is, either you're living under a rock or you're not engulfed in the world of online business quite yet (and that's okay).
Through Alex's content, I developed a new outlook on life. He mentioned in one of his long form
podcasts that he takes the first hour of his Monday's every single week to have a back and fourth chat with his 85-year-old self.
This was an absolute game changer for me.
Solomon's Paradox
King Solomon was a king in the bible who was known for shelling out divine wisdom. He is known as arguably the wisest man to ever live.
However, he often found himself in unfavorable situations due to not being able to give himself the same divine advice. He had poor relationships with his family, hundreds of mistresses and wives, and an obsession with money and wealth.
This is what's known as Solomon's Paradox: we are often much better at giving advice to others than we are at taking our own.
You can't gain perspective on your situation without gaining perspective on your situation.
However, we can use this paradox to our advantage.
If we can zoom out of our lives and give ourselves advice as if it wasn't us, couldn't we offer ourselves incredible insight and wisdom?
Meditation and Journaling: Worth It?
There's a huge craze going around about meditation and journaling on social media currently.
Some people swear by it, others find it revolting. While I mostly think the mantra around this stuff is mostly so people can sell you their products, I find myself somewhere in between.
On September 17th, 2023, I started journaling every single night. I didn't truly believe in journaling at the time, so I used it as an "affirmations" routine.
(I put "affirmations" in quotes because there are a million different definitions as to what an "affirmation" constitutes. In my life, an affirmation is just a statement - that's it. It can be positive or negative, uplifting or degrading. Fight me.)
I would write 5 "I Am" affirmations and 5 "I Will" affirmations and ended it with "I. Love. Me.". There was no rhyme or reason to the affirmations, I simply let my brain think about whatever was top of mind and let my pen run rampant.
If you don't believe me (no idea why you wouldn't), here's a screenshot of my first ever journal entry (don't mind the chicken scratch).
On November 18th, I created my Solomon. I began using the latter half of each journal page as an open dialogue with myself, only at 85-years of age.
I would picture myself sitting across the table with my Solomon and begin to explain all the worries, doubts, and shortcomings I'm concerned with.
I started to flesh out all the problems I'm facing, all the things that are going wrong, and all the questions I had.
The most eye opening question was constantly revealed to me.
If he doesn't care about this thing, why should I?
There is only one person I'm striving to impress in this life, and that person is who I'm talking to every single night inside of this journal.
He has the most pure intentions for my life and wants me to be the greatest possible version of me I can be (because it's also him).
I cannot begin to articulate the amount of personal growth I've experienced after following this practice for the past 4-ish months.
It's how I solve virtually any problem in my life. Anything I'm trying to figure out, my Solomon has already been through. Why not ask him for some advice?
Let's make this actionable for you.
6 Steps To Creating & Talking To Your Solomon
Whether you're into journaling & meditation or not, this is an extremely high-leverage way to solve any problem you ever come across in your entire life.I wholeheartedly swear by this and I will do it until the day I die.
1) Pick up a badass journal and pen
There's something about writing in a journal that's badass with an expensive pen. Don't do this in the notes app on your phone or on a Google Doc. This needs to be hand-written.
There's just something truly special that comes from writing things down with pen and paper. Make it a habit.
2) Set a time to journal every single day
Be consistent with when and where you perform this habit.
Your brain will start to associate that time and place with deep reflection and thought. I do mine at 9:30pm in the dark with only a candle for light.
Do whatever makes your comfortable.
3) Write 5 "I Am" and 5 "I Will" affirmations
Start off with 5 "I Am" statements followed by 5 "I Will" statements.
Let your mind run wild here. Write down whatever the first thing that comes is. That's likely the most honest and truthful thing.
Don't worry if your "affirmations" are negative. This is about deep self-reflection.
The only way you can face the negative things you're going through is to face them head on.
Write it all down.
4) Picture yourself sitting across the table from your 85-year old self
After you finish your affirmations, close your eyes and seriously visualize sitting across the table from your Solomon.
What does he look like? What clothes is he wearing? What environment are you guys in?
Whenever I visualize my Solomon, the room is always pitch black and we are sitting at a large oak table, across from one another. There is often a candle at the table, and there are many shadows drawn across his figure.
Don't start talking to your Solomon until you can clearly see what he looks like.
Do not skip this or you will render the entire exercise useless.
5) Treat the journal as a stream of consciousness
Once you can clearly see your Solomon, just. start. writing. Don't try to guide the conversation in a particular direction, don't skew the conversation, just talk.
What would Solomon think of your situation?
What would he have done?
How would he have handled the situation?
Would it even matter to him if you told him about this?
Write for as long as your brain has things to talk about. If it takes you half a page, sweet. If you’re writing for an hour, even better.
Often times, the answers that we are looking for are often deep inside of us, we just don’t want to bring them to light. It’s painful.
6) Go to sleep
When you finish up talking to your Solomon, tell him that you love him and then go straight to sleep.
Don't use your phone, don't browse your email, don't do any more client work.
Go. To. Sleep.
This will allow your subconscious to continue to develop the conversation and bring more clarity to the problems you're facing. This is arguably the most important step of the whole process.
If you complete this in-depth self reflection routine and then go fry your brain with blue light and TikTok, you'll negate the entire exercise. Take melatonin before you start journaling if you're not tired.
Do this for the next 90-days consistently and I promise you'll be unrecognizable. Problems that were a struggle before will be so clearly defined and actionable that you'll have no choice but to solve them.
Best of luck to you.
-Daymion
The only thing I sell is a 1-on-1 mentorship program where I help you develop a plan for your future, force you to take action, & hold you accountable to your word. Everything else is free forever and not locked behind any form of paywall or email list. You have my word.
Learn about that here.
Who Is Daymion Alvarez?
Just A Man Making Mistakes And Teaching You How Not To
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